carrot famine

in other news
the carrot famine continues
unabated.
Demand has lead to a violent black market –
people have been selling counterfeit carrots –
orange painted rocks –
camouflaged parsnips –
stretched beetroots
dyed – unscrupulous
racketeers have broken fingers,
blood has been spilled.

There appears to be no end in sight to this hunger.
Mental institutions are seeing an increase in patients
affected by vivid
dreams of carrots.

Maybe there is a virus afoot
contaminating dreams?
an unconscious joining of imagery?
Mass psychosis?

But I am no man of science
so I can offer no facts, just
hypothesis,
but what I can tell you is
I’m scared.
Scared for myself and the future.
We need carrots.
How else can we see in the dark?

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8 comments

  1. multiplemichael

    this is your most lucid poem to date !!!!
    I was happily shocked………..omg, I’ll never win the Kentucky Derby now
    don’t get me started on counterfeit carrots
    speaking of carrots…………Trent owes me like a carload
    question of the day………..do they show up on a pee test ?

    Like

  2. multiplemichael

    MOST PEOPLE DON’T KNOW THE AMOUNT OF CONCENTRATED SPIT
    IT TAKES TO GROW ONE CARROT
    MANLY FLUIDS CAN BE STRENGTHENED BY CARROT JUICE
    HONEYMOON NECTAR
    LEAVES LITTLE ROOM FOR PESSIMISM
    CARROTS PROMOTE ALL KINDS OF SOCIALLY VALUABLE FUNCTIONS
    THEY ARE THE ENEMY OF HUMAN VICE AND EVIL WILL

    Like

    • eatmorewords

      the pee medication Emily invented (god tears) is designed not to show up on any tests – it only stains your conscious – it’s a black cancer that the user must carry with them like an disgruntled caddy
      it comes with a 30 day happiness guarantee
      it curse loneliness
      improves memory
      aids in poetic pursuits
      but remember it is PEE PEE

      Like

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