Category: nonsense

4% battery 

a bruise colour blue

in the shape of a country you discovered in you mind years ago

         you named it and designed a flag

– Mexico City is angry

– London Bridge is falling dow

my phone has 4% battery so I know time is short 
I’m not who you think I am

all my writing is edited by an office of low paid secretaries and retired professors 

             I use computer programmes and algorithms 

             I steal lines from songs and books 

       I’ve never heard of Robert Frost 

I’m a 3ft black midget 

      I’m a cross dressing reality TV star 

   I’ve been to all the church’s in Utah 

        and you told me you wrote to a prisoner

and told him about the smell of the flowers in your garden

you tried explained the taste of the ramen noodles you had last night
you described the wind and

you drew them a picture of a dog reading a book


modern moses

he cheque the bank sent me slowly di
sin teg

he couldn’t perform
the constant image of the black Converse trainer on the dead leg of Kurt Cobain just put him off

modern day Moses
spammed everyone with the 10 commandments but they went I read
lost in the junk mail
amongst adverts for erection pills and serums that will give you strong
healthy hair

automatic writing 23

sometimes the only light I see is from the xerox machine
while I copy a picture of Solange beating up Jay-Z in an elevator
stuck between floors
-when I was younger I wanted to be on the cover of an Iron Maiden album
– all rappers have ridiculous names
-I am filled in a database which contains the names of all the people who completed Ghost and Goblins


the alphabet hasn’t changed but the number of words continue to grow
– continual evolution of both word and meaning –
when everything was upside down


she didn’t meet up with me instead she watched Netflix for three days straight –
she told me she didn’t blink once
‘case she missed something

her angelic wings were clipped


I have vivid dreams where I am a mascot for a company or
a sports team

I’m dressed in fur and am dressed as an 6ft animal

I have a wobbly head and am sweating uncontrollable

over the animal suit I am wearing a shirt with a logo
a badge


were there fish in the ark or did they just swim alongside instead?


when they took my fingerprints
they said i didn’t exist

origins UNKNOWN
ten fingers
nine toes
broken rib


I am Evel Knievel in a rocket pointed at the moon

automatic writing #55

the song was set on a space station orbiting earth
the astronauts were eating powdered food and trying to remember what
ice cream tasted of they couldn’t find the words to describe vanilla

in Russian Stalin banned jazz

he ordered all trumpets to be buried 300 miles from Stalingrad

yesterday was national poetry day and no one knew

outside hailstones have been falling on and off for an hour or so
spring now, but possibly still winter
the calendars could be lying

the washing machine is gurgling in another room

my cat ate my fish

my cat died when I was on a school trip

my bird fell off his perch and never knew he hit the ground

the news is on the radio and
words are jumping from its belly
something about a murder
Russian involvement

she told me this morning she dreams of dead children

I’ll leave this here
I’ll finish my tea then I’ll be off

automatic writing: #27

        flapping butterfly wings inside the wardrobe with the skeletons

fireflies circle the bulb

a low wattage casts small shadows over this thing
                         over this everything 
of empty petrol station forecourts

wastelands of concrete where shoes hang from telegraph wires
all the stereotypes I know

(but how many of them are true?)
she frantically searches the book shelves for the answers and writes angry letters to the council about the lack of WI-FI at the local library 
she sits on the roof to get a better view of the constellations which she can’t see from here 


listen to yourself burp and gurgle and burble and 

when you shake your head

side to side 

your eyes can’t focus 

and you get a headache 

and passersby offer help 

and words of support

or commiseration 
(it’s hard to differentiate


a helping hand

 or a fist in the face)
– and you think of buster Keaton and the falling house…

the way he stood perfectly poised while the house fell 

and he knew he wouldn’t come to harm 

but you thought the whole edifice would collapse on his little head –